The God honest truth is, don’t be poor. Or if you’re poor its sometimes easier to be less ambitious. It sucks knowing your every move is limited to lack of funding and when your age timer just keeps moving on and on and on and one day you wake up and you realize, I’m 27 and I haven’t achieved anything yet and still there’s others out there that have done much more at a younger age.

It sucks to know that you have little to no time to soul search. It sucks to know that soul searching becomes an activity only the rich can afford. It sucks to know that you have dependants like your family that have planned and rely on your every move to ensure that everyone wins and not just you. It sucks to know all that.

Perhaps all those things they thought in college was a fantasy. All those things I read in books, not a reality. Who says you can just pack your bags and leave. Who says your allowed to just take some days off for yourself to ponder and wonder the marvels of the universe and comteplate on how that factors into your tiny insignificant life. Who says people are merciful and tolerable and will agree to help.

The funny part is, no one will stand up to admit these very things they so easily dole out. Suddenly, they all have clauses. Suddenly, it doesn’t apply to everyone. Suddenly, a magic word called responsibility appears. Suddenly they retract their words and you realize you’re alone in your decision and you’re made to look like a fool, an idiot who decided somehow, by himself, with no external advice at all, that he can pack up and leave. Don’t you find today’s world hilarious. No one lives up to their word anymore.

There is not enough honor to go around so everyone out there has only about an ounce of it left in their veins. Suddenly, you realize, oh shit, it’s just me, right here, in this lonely alley being bombarded with questions, being laughed at, being called upon to make everyone else’s dream a reality except yours. So where do you fit into all of this. The answer is simple – No where. You don’t exist or to better clarify, you only exist as a means to enable other people’s existence.

Gosh, now there’s a perspective ain’t it. There’s a once in a lifetime perspective that perhaps is the reason why people run away, only to be proudly adorned with the society label of ‘Coward’. Gotta love it. They have an answer for everything. If you stay, you need to enable their dreams, and if you run and try to realize yur own dream, you’re a coward who shrugs away responsibility. If you stay, decide to enable yours, you’re selfish.

My teacher once told me, being an adult is being the biggest hypocrite of it all simply because we choose to suppress so many things we think and know from the open in an effort to blend in and be normal. We mould our behaviour to fit the acceptable standards of the society round us, and those who perceive themselves as unique, those who try so hard to differentiate themselves, simply push this boundaries by a little and suddenly, they are the most original personality in the room.

Its just a scam. All of it and it just plain sucks. It horrible to think that we have degenerated to such life-sucking vampires, such horrible creatures that we do this so willingly to one another. No this is not because of capitalism or some political reform. What this is, is simple human behaviour masked in the veil of that treacherous bride we so happily embrace – Civilization.

Isn’t that what its all about. If you are here in this earth, you’re suppose to embrace thy neighbour which also translates to be nice and help them our once in a while. Even then, we have negotiated this arbitrary number of times we should and should not help someone. And we have it in our heads that if someone helps us a lot, they are a push over, if a guy is too nice to a girl, she’s suppose to push him away and place him in the Friend zone and go for the badass jackass who has an attitude. Apparently that’s how we as humans make decisions. Apparently that’s what holds true, deep inside our hearts. Schadenfraude. We all have an inherent need to damage ourselves, constantly. If these were the pillars of society, where the so called jackasses get to breed and the nice guys were always pushed aside, then I wonder, what does that say about the morals of society around us. What does it say about the pillars of civilization that we work so hard to protect.

Is the entire thing a sham built by idiots to protect themselves for being phased out ? Either way, just dont be poor. It just plain sucks.